life goes on

yesterday kinnda fk up....i think i marked myself down in the peer appersal...then the teacher needed to talk to me..i just said the truth...and she ...............................

enough abt that....today no mood go sch cos cds sucks...
thats all :D

darkness in eternity

i know u will never get to see this....but u will when i am gone from this world...this life isn't worth living..for me to watch u leave, its living hell, good bye..

I haven and will not give u up, i just duno wat else to say to u...cos the things i told u, hit me back like a boomerang, this is not your fault in the first place, its me who doesn't know how to care abt u, duno how to love u, duno how to stop hurting u....

a tear drop wun make a difference, a thousand sorries wun bring u back, a million regrets wun change the past....a trillion prayers wun change your mind....

all the best to you, i will never forget u....

Down to btm of no return

Today i woke up rather late, bby never reply...so we mapled a bit and i went to bath. And then we went go nicoll highway and went to meet da sao. Then boss went to bought the bus ticket back to msia.

While waiting, we went to grab a bite...lazy to write wat i ate...i really no mood to blog right now...i will post next time...

boss + da sao + majestic

yesterday boss came to sg ard 2pm, so romeo called me and told me go bugis....zzz in the sleeping mood

then he decided that steamboat would be too hot, so i suggest seoul garden or sakura...i missed sg's soup...

but we decided sakura cos we haven been there tgt..i checked the address and price and smsed romeo the details....zzh3r0zz went to fetch romeo and boss and da sao, then come my house fetch me...meanwhile i was waiting, i stare at my phone waiting for a miracle to happen...

they arrived at my block, hero looked like a gangster, a bit. romeo and hero started smoking, i pat boss on the back, we had a short chat and i saw da sao....look like in her thirties. So we went in the car and head off to sakura

we chatted abt random stuffs, but da sao is obviously trying to find a topic to talk to boss. Boss seems kinda dissapointed...cos of da sao looks i think...which is really saddening cos they had been tgt for 3 years + in maple..my heart sank cos i was reminded of bby...and then we reached sakura but it isn't open yet, need 5.30. bmagen haven arrived...then it opened, and bmagen arrived later than expected, he look like he is 15 while others disagree, he is 20+ btw. We go on to agree tht romeo looked like a uncle, everyone agrees rofl.

then we went for movie at 9.30 at causeway point...the viral point. sad tht jay have to die, why is it jay? romeo fell asleep and is snoring pretty loud, the ppl behind laugh out loud, fkers.
so i woke romeo up...

after movie boss came my house for the night, he snores very loud, so i went to my parents room to sleep...the rest post next time

fml

sorry for the emo posts....cos there is no other way to describe, if u know me and if i am smiling now...u would know i am faking it.

yesterday was hell of a day yeah cos...i got an sms at 11am or so that there is a group meeting at 11am....i cant teleport u know...but i know yesterday they had a meeting and i wasn't there, probably i was the only one not knowing abt the 11 meeting

but yeah second sms i got at 12+ was 'where the fuck are you' ...
i bathed and rushed down...better late than never...i memorize my part for the presentation...and of yeah we were wearing formal and my shirt and pants are pretty loose....
HOW LOOSE? my underwear literally fall off my butt...my pants held on to it, thx god?

well, i loss ard 10 kg every since last year....drastic effect from maple...

Then i realised i haven eaten anything and its 3pm...so we went for a quite bite, i bought a bun only and 3 dim sum watever its spelled.

the presentation was okay, except that my group accidentally skipped my part in the role play, shafiq apologized so its okay :D the peer apraiser part....my heart sank cos i know i haven done anything for the group, i sucks and i know it, sorry guys...

i went home regretted and missing u bby...glad u replied me anyway

nothing without u

i am desperate for your voice, desperate for your hold, desperate for u to treat me the way u used to....i would sacrifice anything..
i cant eat....i cant sleep....i dw to go to sch....i barely breathe these days

just stay with me, cos bby i will not live to see another day without you...

glad that u finally said a word to me today, i will not give up....goodnight bby, sweet dreams

too late for regrets

Dam my ob project....i screwed it zzz. wat a week, i wish wei lun and alastair are in my class, they are like extremely good to me...in terms of personal and adcademic issues, only thing is that wei lun very sacastic -.- god knows why he defer when he got so much potential zzz. If he needed money i could have lent him, wats his prob, his gpa is far better than mine.

bby is still ignoring me, maybe its too late...but i will not give up, cos giving her up is as good as giving my life up.

so much to do today...i am suppose to xfer 270 to drew's account, then take taxi to bukit tima to sell my earring for 110, then visit godma for new year. But i am lazy so....i might not go >< see how...which probably means slack at home o.o

Regrets and sorrows

sorry wun change anything but thats all i can say for wat i did. Loving you is something i always do the person in my heart is irreplaceable, i will never allow u to walk out...cos if u do, i am nothing..
i cant afford to have you walking out of my life, ur my everything..

now i know why

No words to express how i feel...i wonder why must i know wats wrong when its too late.
so the reasons u are upset are...
1. I was upset u going to meet that guy that likes u, when i ownself met von....
2. I broke up the second time with u cos your phone ran out of batt and 'thought' that u went to meet him....
3. I broke up with u the first time cos u sat with lylyq while i side alicia and dapy
4. I trained hero and ignore u for 5 days, maybe more, promised to pei u but i didn't
5. I was behaving very close with nuer, like saying ily to her

the reason i am upset....
1. U told me everything is okay, and nothing happen, but u cant let go wat had happened
2. U smsed me 1/2 words only, stopped smsing me when u wake up, ignores me a lot
3. I saw your blog and some content really made me feels that ur hiding things from me
4. It sucks to feel that u no longer love me

all i can say is, i am really sorry bby for not knowing how u feel....i shouldn't have neglected u and sometimes i am being unreasonable like stopping u from meeting your friend, but...i am just afraid to lose u, then why did i break with u...its cos i thought it might make u treasure me again but it didn't.

my love towards you never stopped, i will prove to u by actions from now on...
tmr will be my quitting sales....for a start..

Revived

Noticed its been quite some time since i last blogged. I decided to revive it cos i realised i missed out so much in life which i probably would have forgotten by now...so instead of living each day as it is, i decided to cont this blog.

I woke up at 10 and i took a look at my hp, she didn't sms me...a bit dissapointed that its my cousin instead. My phone's clock is still 30mins fast ahead, lazy to change it, the sms' time i received is actually more accurate, wtf. Then i got up, not cos of maple thank god, cos of the sudden stomach ach....glad we smsed :D

Duno why u bad mood today, and keep busy nowadays, but i hope its not cos u stopped loving me, its driving me crazy thinking that u will be gone....

ay called me today, i know yesterday was our anniversary...as in ex anniversary. She seems really upset for not giving a shit abt it, but wat am i suppose to do, some things are just over and cannot be the same anymore...

maple isn't fun anymore, i saw my eqs and asked myeslf, wtf i spend 3k on it only to realised...it doesn't matter if ur pro or noob, maple is still boring...

Just 1 week

Long time since i blog again. I hope today will be fine. Basically for those who duno i got into this CCA called racing kayak. So...last week i got kicked out by coach cos he say i sian sian during training though i was like chionging all the way...he just says no fire in the eye.

So just as i got over it, i received an sms saying coach wans me back to the team. I went back only to know that for me to get back into the team, i must GO CHURCH WITH HIM, AND BRING 3 PERSON IN THE TEAM ALONG, if not, I CANT GET BACK IN THE TEAM.

Everyone thinks its not right for him to do so but who dare voice out? Well...he says that the pastor will help change me...change to a better person. Is it wrong trying be a soloer? Why do i have to stick with the team all along even dinner? i have my own life and double training 7am to 12pm and 4.30pm to 7pm daily is ady taking most of my time away. KNOW WAT IS THE MEANING OF NO LIFE?! And i ady tried my best to please the rest of the team.

Furthermore, coach says there is low chance i can catch up with the rest due to so many training missed.

I wonder.....should i return or quit?

why i did that?!

Today was fine, went to work at 3pm, made appointments and recuitments.
Until at night i duno wats wrong with me, i just......
Forgot it, i dun wana talk abt it haiz...
Anyway, tmr will be pakour 101, woot!!! (should call it today since its alr 12.15am)

Update

Sorry for killing my own blog everyone...i will try put a post every once a week or more xD
Enrolled into TP, taking law&management, WOOHOO!
Just completed my enrollment online, going for medical check up at 3pm yeah!~(hope i am healthy as ever)
I also got a job in VE(venture era), its about sales and its not gona be easy cos its unstable though other various working conditions were good :D
Meanwhile, i registered for freerun101, its a parkour showcase FOR FREE! i believe i can learn something there beyond the internet and maybe, i may even sign up for parkour training...LOLS xDxDxD (check out www.urbanfreestyle.sg for more info)
Last of all, I MISS SCHOOL AND CCA!!!! i remembered i was feeling the opposite when i was in school...guess this is what they call 'u will treasure things when u loss them'. But i not lossing them because i can also come back mf to visit my juniors and teachers xD, asap!

PrOm NiGhT

okay start with the good part. I rushed during afternoon to get a shirt...$75. Then went to prom with a overly-small sized shoes, by the time i reach there the my heel aready bleeding...open wound. I hid my pain throughout, not easy...T.T
I saw Amos and was happy he was dressed well, dam cool XD. In the ballroom, I sat beside Zheng Yang and Fu En. Zheng Yang kept finding fault with me and hitting my head[he was playing and I dun mind] LOLS. Then there was the couple dance, remembered clearly Jia Qi and Qi Hua won. My class was seriously WTF, they chosen me and Li Kiong...I would have danced if they get a REAL GIRL! But nvm, it was real fun and funny. We ate and talk and stuff then. Then lucky draw and magic tricks. Near the end, everyone danced together, more lik jumping hahax. Imagine me jumping with a open wound in the heel, bleeding, cool huh?
My pain eased upon seeing 'her'.
I wanted to talk to her, but i can't bring myself to...
At final moment, just as i almost go all out, i saw Winston and talked to him about it, he meant I dun stand a chance...
So i gave up and took a taxi home, every second I could feel my heart shrinking and drowning with sorrow. Its only my fault that I screwed things up...if only i have been a better person since sec 1, things would have been a breeze. But oh well, throught failure we learn. No point grumbling and regret, its time to get out of my fantasy dreams and set things right!

HoPe AnD FaTe In ThE HaNdS Of ThE MiGhTy GoD

Its been like centuries since i blogged. Main reason is because I am in the midst of my most important exams in life so far, the O levels. I expecting english to get B3 and maths to be A2...
But I prayed for my maths for a A1 cause it will really make life easier for me as that means I need to scored A1 for D&T, A1 for combined humanities and A2 for either chinese or science. This is mainly because I planning to go to TP, for psychology course which needs L1R4 to be 8 points only!!! well, thats one of the most difficult course to enter for any poly. Benjamin persuaided me to go to a JC, but I dun like the idea of JC. Firstly, I have to cut my hair! NO WAY! Secondly, still have to wear a UNIFORM! NO WAY! Lastly, the subjects are going to be boring and limited. Furthermore, I dropped amath, so I will have a real disadvantage if i go JC.

Actually there is another alternative, I can go to NP for psychology & community services which need L1R4 to be 10. BUT IF ALL ELSE FAIL, then I will probably take benjamin's advice and go JC. God bless me!

i am sorry

it was all my fault for all the mistakes i made. They fell out...we all were sad. For me, my life is screwed, there is no reason for me to live anymore, i feel like dieing...this song will tell u how i feel...[a little too not over you]. here it goes.

"It never crossed my mind at all
That's what I tell myself
What we had has come and gone
You're better off with someone else

It's for the best I know it is
but I see you
Sometimes I try to hide what I feel inside
And I turn around, you're with him now
I just can't figure it out

Tell me why you're so hard to forget
Don't remind me, I'm not over it
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth
I'm just a little too not over you, not over you

Aren't memories supposed to fade?
What's wrong with my heart?
Shake it off, let it go
Didn't think it'd be this hard

Should be strong, movin' on but I see you
Sometimes I try to hide what I feel inside
And I turn around, you're with him now
I just can't figure it out

Tell me why you're so hard to forget
Don't remind me, I'm not over it
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth
I'm just a little too not over you

Maybe I regret everything I said
No way to take it all back, yeah
Now I'm on my own, how I let you go
I'll never understand
I'll never understand!

Tell me why you're so hard to forget
Don't remind me, I'm not over it
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth
I'm just a little too not over you

Tell me why you're so hard to forget
Don't remind me, I'm not over it
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth
And I really don't know what to do
I'm just a little too not over you, not over you"

haiz

okay, i apologize for not updating everyday because i am busy studying. i got my chinese results 2 days ago and got B4, sucks cos i kno i screwed up paper 1 and oral, but i still got merit for my oral which in fact i done it so badly i thought i failed. Hey come on man, i sleep in every chinese lessons even though i in the second best chinese band. So basically i screwed up 'o' level chinese and is retaking XD, wow 'great', now i got more time to waste studying chinese, WOOHOO[sacastic].
i had 'o' level eng oral today and i did above my usual but not the best. My mind just went blank facing the 2 female examiners...OMG DIE T_T.

sudden attack

i bought A-cash card for the first time in my life. i was provoked by those assholes in SA using trgs and other cash items to bully others, so i bought it. i now got trg 21, ak black, gurhka C and the machine gun pistol, wei long u r so dead hahaha.
i eating instant noodle now. The slice of cheese i added to it made the whole thing dilute, eewww, but still yummy anyway haha XD

pakour

i saw barrel and gate vault on yourtube, awsome!!!
i going to try in school tmr, pray for me that i dun break any bones k? okay maybe not that serious, i can do monkey, side or regular, kash, lazy, reverse, and turn vault. i still working on dash and kong vault. If i got time, i may also try speed and thief vault.

monday holiday

Today morning i woke up at about 11am. My science tutor reached my house door then i told him to go home lmao, cos i dun feel lik having tution, moody morning, haiz.
Then about 2.25pm i reached AMK mrt station to meet up with dl and cheryl. But they said they gona be late, so i went cheers to buy sweet. Lol i very dumb, i bought the sweet then talk on the phone with dl until i forgot take the sweet.....
I only realised that when i in the AMK hub waiting for dl at the bus drop off point. Then she followed me go take the sweet XD
Then we both went to the AMK hub underground cheers and wait for cheryl. Miss princess cheryl took the wrong train and her train stopped halfway a while, making us wait until 3pm+...
Then we took mrt to Bishan and went to the library.
OMG, i saw 2 of my school mates...tmr sure got rumour...
We walked a bit then we went J8 and i bought ice blended green apple, yummy! XD
dl brought her salad and drink[prepared by dl's mother]
After eating, we continue walking in J8 and do some window shopping.
At about 5.30pm, dl decided to go home due to limits by her mother. So i followed her to AMK hub again...=.=
And then guess wat? Cheng Chuan And Bob and 2 other girls from our school caught us!!! tmr 100% got rumour, i am screwed...but they my friends so should be okay rite?[i not too sure abt tat lol]
So bascially we shopped a while more and...OH YA
lol okay this is funny, dl tried to either kick me or cheryl, and ended up her slipper spolit[the part where placed between your first toe and second came off lol, dun tell me u duno]
Well, poor dl has to hop and jump and slide. But she gained a weapon, she can use her slipper to wack me and cheryl, but she only managed to hit cheryl lol XD. Lastly, dl and cheryl took a bus at AMK hub home and i also went home.
The whole day we were being childish and reprimanded by public people, but it was fun XD